By the age of twelve, Susan Campbell had been flirting with Jesus for some time, and in her mind, Jesus had been flirting back. Why wouldn't he? She went to his house three times a week, sat in his living room, listened to his stories, loudly and lustily sang songs to him. So, one Sunday morning, she walked to the front of her fundamentalist Christian church to profess her love for Jesus and to be baptized.

But from the moment her robe floated to the surface of the baptistery water, she began to question her fundamentalist Christian faith. If baptism requires complete immersion underwater, what does it mean, she wondered, if a piece of fabric attached to a would-be Christian floats to the top? Does the baptism still count?